Gossip girl-ing #3

Nate: Finding out your father isn't the person you grew up idolizing sucks, but it doesn't mean he loves you any less.

Raina: Then what does it mean?

Nate: It means that he's human. Okay, and you've got a chance, if you want... to know the real him, the good and the bad.

Raina : What if i don't want to?

Nate : You do.

Raina : When i was a little girl, he was more than life. Like superman.

Then i cried. Not because the exam is going to happen on Monday yet i still streamed the net to watch this episode, it's because it reminds me to my own superman. Ayah. He was more than life to me. Since the day i born, he always be the one who i can looked up to. The most loving, genuine and caring man i've ever met in my life. I always, always proud to be his daughter. Seeing his smile and found that i was the reason is fantastic. He was the one who carried a handycam in every activities i attend back when i'm in kindergarten. He's the kind of Dad who drives her family to wherever we're going. The one who is willing to wait when i'm running late after school. The one who never get mad when i got a bad score.

Ayah is the kind of dad that who always want to have dinner together just to ask "How was your day?". He's the kind of dad who knocks on my door every single night to check on what i'm doing and doesn't try to spy but to make sure that the light is off & i'm under my blanket. He's the kind of dad who still loves to hug me when he got home after work. He's the one who said that i will be accepted in this University even before i took the test. The one who hate a Psychologist yet always support me in every small step that i take to become one. He's the one who forgive me and even never mentioned my flaw, when i break his rules to date a guy with different religion behind his back.

He's the kind of dad who call me just to ask where am i, when will i go home and stuffs. He's the kind of dad who is willing to do anything to make me have everything in the best quality that he can afford. The kind of dad who really likes to do his prayer in the Mosque. He's the kind of dad who will be so angry when he heard his daughter said any dirty word under his roof. He's the one who is so patient and keep silent when my mom is crumbling. He's the one who keep his pride as his priority until saying sorry is a forbidden thing to do.

Besides every lovable things about him, like Nate said.......he's human. He's far from the perfect dad you see in movies. He has mistakes. A few mistakes that at the moment, makes me disappointed. I spent my adolescent life in a rollercoaster road because of his mistakes. The hero that i always looked up to change in to another human being who can mad for reasons that far from what i'm doing, who can cry in his prayer, who can actually keep silent because he doesn't give a damn care, or too tired to give a comment. Sometimes, i hate him for showing me the bad side of him. Yet i know that it doesn’t mean thqt he love me any less. He never changed every single thing that mention before.

When i watch the Raina-Nate's scene, i realized that maybe this is God's way to show me that Ayah has flaws, yet it doesn't make him a bad dad. The most important line is, It doesn't mean that he love me any less. This Sunday will be the day he's turning 54. Yes, he's old already. I always wishing for the longest life that God can give to him, so later i can see his smile on my graduation day, then he'll be the one who shake my future husband hand in our 'ijab-qabul', sending him some of my income as a Psychologist every month, Buy him stuffs that he can't afford right now, visit him and my mom on their late adulthood house, and introduce them to my children.

This year, i wish him the best success at work, every happiness that the world can offer him, and i just want to make him even prouder of me in you know.......every single thing i do.

I love you more than you ever know, yah.

(ditulis oleh Clarissa Rizky

http://clarissarizky.blogspot.com/2011/03/gossip-girl-ing-3.html)